daniwithtea: (glasses 2)
Update on the party with presents front:

We're tossing around the date of September 9 (this year), because that date has special significance for me and it's close enough to our original anniversary (which we always forget) that it will just make things easy.

We're trying to come up with ideas for a location, and aren't having much luck so far. Our criteria:
--the place needs to be comfortable (we're toying with the idea of buying a bunch of thrift-store sofas for the occasion)
--be relaxed (this will be a very casual affair)
--be large enough to accomodate 125 people with significant breathing room (I have anxiety issues in tightly-packed crowds)
--let us bring in and prepare our own food (I run my own catering company and want complete control over the food)
--have an outdoor area where we can smoke

We'd also like an open bar, but that's easily enough accomplished. We don't want to do a firehall, for the sake of ambience. A coffee house would be great, but I can't imagine finding one with enough room for 125 people. A bar would be great, but I'm not sure what the odds are of finding a bar that will let us bring in our own food. I'm willing to check out places in not only Pennsylvania, but New Jersey, Delaware, and possibly even New York, if the location and the price are right.

So, I turn to the LJ world: any ideas for a location, or even how to find one? TIA!
(x-posted, with aadditional details, to [livejournal.com profile] alternative_wed)


Dec. 19th, 2005 10:12 pm
daniwithtea: (broken)
I'm cranky, and tired, and moody. That was your warning to run away.

I went to pay the bills today (because I didn't pay them last week when we got paid like I should have) and discovered some things that I fucked up last month, probably because I was so damn busy with work that I didn't know which was was up. So I'm popping Buspar because money is one of THE triggers, the ones that set me off and make me go kaplooey into evil, melodramatic, crazy in the literal sense Dani. And I'm pissed. Not only because I fucked up the bills, but because after all this time, it's still the same damn triggers that get me, money being the biggest of them all. Logically I know that being able to see "ooh, that's a big trigger, possible freak-out ahead, take your anti-anxiety drugs NOW" and do it is a good thing. I guess I just wish I didn't have those triggers anymore, feel like I should have gotten a handle on them somehow. All fires are out, everything that needs paying has been paid, s'all good on the surface.

There's something else nagging at me, that I didn't realize was bothering me so much until I vented at one of the girls at work today about it. All of our friends (IRL, LJ, and otherwise) have been very much "whee!" at the ring/party/presents concept. But our families, those who know so far, have been more along the lines of "oh, that's nice."

Um, 'scuse me?

How is it that y'all love us both to death, treat us as an old married couple, and then when it comes down to this, it's just "nice? I don't fucking think so. I've been through this deal before, and I seem to remember it being a little different last time. I want to know what the deal is. Stand up and say it if you've got a problem with it. Don't act like it doesn't bother you and treat us both like the family of bitter old dykes we are for two and a half fucking years and then act wierd because we want to have a party. It'll be interesting to get the rest of the reactions over the holidays.

As a random aside, Brian Setzer's drummer looks like Elvis Costello. Very strange.

For something completely non-ranty, I'm not going to have a chance to send out winter holiday goodies this year; however, my mom and i will be baking cookies in February (since we couldn't do our normal holiday numminess), so if you want goodies then, including our Magical Mint Cookies (secret family recipe), let me know.

ETA: I don't know what happened with the formatting there, but it's better now.
daniwithtea: (Default)
Thanks everyone for all your well-wishes and such. This is so strange and cool and new (even though I've been down this road before). And just, well, happy.

Even though I've been planning this for months, Mer had no clue. Granted, we've talked about the "Party with Presents" concept quite a bit, so the idea was there, but the ring itself was a total surprise. Saying we're engaged or affianced or something just seems off or corny somehow. I mean, as far as I can tell, at least within our families, it was pretty much a given that this is how it was gonna be, Dani and Mer, end of story. But hey, we want shiny rings. And a Party with Presents, capital P's completely intentional.

And that brings us to the party. We've had a few key ideas rolling around in our heads for some time now. Dress? Come-as-you-are. Wanna dress up? Fine. Wanna wear a t-shirt and ripped jeans? Fine. Wanna wear your collar and your leather bustier? Fine, just don't give our grandparents heart attacks, please. Medical emergencies can really kill the mood of a faboo party. I'll be in flannel and jeans, Mer will wear whatever the hell she feels like wearing. Food? things we really want to eat. My dad's baked macaroni and cheese, for example. Buffet-style. Probably start things off with a dayboard-type thing, for people to nosh on before the meal itself. Location? Preferably something where we have both an outdoor and indoor option (in case of rain.) But that's negotiable because of the next bit...

Ever read the Callahan's series by Spider Robinson? To sum up the important bits, there's are two great traditions in that bar: Irish Coffee (AKA God's Blessing) and the toasts. To make a toast at Callahan's, you step up to the chalk line, drain your glass, make your toast, and smash your glass into the fireplace.

In lieu of a ceremony, that's what we want to do. Explain the concept, tell everyone that "Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased" (basically the motto of Callahan's), serve Irish Coffees all around (subsitutes for the non-drinkers, of course), and ask everyone to make a toast to us, smashing their glass into the fireplace. Kind of an acheiving group tribal conciousness thingy, as Mer put it.

The elements of fire and food make it pagany enough for me, plus neither of us have to stand through some pseudo-wedding crap that we can't stand. We get blessings/well-wishes/etc. from our friends and family, and the most expensive part of the whole shebang will be buying the glassware. If anyone has any suggestions on where the hell we can find a place that will let us smash glasses in a fireplace, I'm happy to hear it. Hell, I'm happy to build the damn fireplace. (And yes, I will be posting on the Callahan's community about that particular need.)

That about sums it up for now. Lots of homemade food (my plan is to have cooking parties ahead of time, make all the food with friends, freeze it, and then have someone be in charge of heating, etc. the day of), an open bar, fire, breaking shit, having an all-around good time, and inviting everyone we know (as long as we can find a large enough space.)

And no, there's absolutely no time frame on this yet. My only requirement is that the weather be a comfortbale flannel-wearing temperature, which for me is less than 80 degrees.

Time to stop rambling and get ready for a co-worker's Christmas party that started 20 minutes ago.

uh, yep.

Dec. 9th, 2005 11:33 pm
daniwithtea: (glasses 2)
so, i did it. uh, yep. looks like we'll be having a big party. with presents.

daniwithtea: (dance like no one's watching)
What a day. Work was somehow productive, even though I spent a good part of my day in a back-and forth email conversation with mer about jewelry. specifically diamonds. for those of you who've heard the joke about me being the straight guy in the relationship, that was very evident today. i just wasn't born with the diamond gene, i suppose. and eventually, i've got to find one, because we don't get to have a big party and get lots o'presents unless mer's got a "diamond on her dainty digit". enter my mother-out-law. (yes, that'd be mer's mom.) M-O-L is full of knowledge about jewelry and diamonds and other such girly things, and I figured eventually I'd call her and put in a cry for help. well, little did i know that while mer and i were conversing over email, she was conversing real-time with her mom...and when i found out, i got all flustered...

i'm rambling. there is a point here somewhere.

there are two, actually.

number one, don't any of y'all get your panties, boxers, or other unmentionables in a wad, because this ain't happening anytime soon. What started off this whole conversation was the fact that mer's mentor is convinced she'll never attend said party because if we wait "until we have the time and money" (which is our current time frame on this), it'll never happen. she obviously doesn't know our motivation when there's presents involved. ;)

number two, i need ideas on how exactly to shop for this shit. the info i have is: "heavier band is good, unusual is good, artistic is good, and colored diamonds are good. and bigger is always better. and antique is good." i'm not looking to purchase now - money is truly an issue - but i'd like to get an idea of what the fuck i'm supposed to be doing and where on this planet/teh internets to look so i'm not this flustered and frustrated when money isn't so much of an issue 'round these parts. i'm guessing independant jewelers are good. mer said something to the effect of "rings likely to be sold to young gay men".

so if anyone has any ideas, suggestions, websites, smacks upside the head, etc., i would truly, truly appreciate it.

btw, this isn't filtered. she knows, she'll see, it's all good.

oh, and as far as i can gather, the reason i got so flustered when i found out about the conversation between mer and M-O-L was because we had never discussed this with anyone other than each other...so, hey, it's outside these walls, and real. which is cool, and scary, at the same time.


daniwithtea: (Default)

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