daniwithtea: (me and my pussy)
trying to squeeze every bit of not-school, not-work stuff i can into a day when i'm dealign with pain issues that don't want me off the couch is, well, difficult. got some grocery shopping done after i dropped mer off at the train station, and trashed* the living room & my desk. after taking care of some stuff online, i decided to be smart and check the weather in dallas, where i'll be headed in two weeks. well, shit. it never occurred to me that it would be cold there. all these off-site meetings are always in warm places. and crap, my meeting wardrobe is much more suited to september in palm springs and vegas than to texas in february were it's apparently 40 degrees

so, for my own reference, here's what i have to work with and what I need, so I can fill in the gaps in the next two weeks...
M - bottom (khakis) & top (brown stripe knit turtleneck)
T - bottom & top; dress or pantsuit for dinner
W - bottom & top
R - bottom & top
F - bottom (khakis) & top; jeans & t-shirt for breakdown; sweatshirt or fleece for flight

items to work with:
black skirt with black jacket - need top & hose
black stripey suit - need top
blue pattern skirt - need top & hose
turquoise pattern skirt - need top & hose
grey knit sweaterdress - need hose

*in our house, to trash is to collate mail and empty boxes and stuff and place it in trash bags. it is not used in the conventional sense.


Sep. 13th, 2006 10:47 pm
daniwithtea: (quelle night! (holly golightly))
so I'm San Diego, the first of two back-to-back california trips. we're on our own for dinner tonight, so i perused the hotel restaurants. all are closed except one, which has a bunch of overpriced california cusine, none of which sounds appetizing. but, hey - i'm in the gaslight district. there are dozens of amazing restaurants within walking distance. i'll go (way) out of my comfort zone and take a stroll.

i walked about 3 blocks in one direction, made a right, saw nothing but a starbucks. kept walking. started to feel...strange. kept walking. after another block or so, it occurred to me that it wasn't my anxiety. it was the part of my brain saying "hey, dumb-ass. you're walking alone in a strange city down streets with crappy lighting and not a lot of foot traffic after dark. you know better." um, yeah. so i headed back around the block and back to the hotel, where i am now patiently awaiting room service.

so, no randomly yummy local food for me. but, i got a little out of my comfort zone, and got a good half-mile walk in.

i think if i was in jeans and some boots or sneaks, rather than in a dress and clogs carrying a purse (!), i'd have been a hell of a lot more comfortable schlepping around out there. ah, well.

and yes, for the record, i could have gone out with one of the groups from work. i just really hate spending my "night off" with work people and having to continue to schmooze through dinner and into the wee hours of the morning. plus, i can smoke in my room. (a smoking room in california...who knew?)

tomorrow i head home, then friday in the office, before heading back to california (palm springs this time) on monday.

eta:a huge meal (entree, salad, dessert, and beverage) for what i would have paid downstairs for an entree. highlight? a creme brulee bigger than my salad and possibly my head. i adore creme brulee, and only finished about 2/3 of it. yum.


Aug. 5th, 2006 01:39 pm
daniwithtea: (me and my pussy)
yep. me, last-minute, as always.

i have two weeks before i leave on the first of three business trips to the west coast. vegas, palm springs, and san diego. i need to dress a tad nicer than i do daily - broomsticks don't really cut it, and khakis don't really either. i'm in-between sizes and still losing, so if i have to obtain more clothes, which i do, i'd rather go with simple stuff that i have a chance of altering, and i do *not* want to spend a lot of money. i'd rather not spend any money, but i probably have to. it needs to be machine-washable, because two of the trips are back-to-back, and i won't have time for drycleaning.

so, i'm looking for suggestions on either places to get cheap but well-made fat chick clothes in the next two weeks, or suggestions on what to do with limited sewing skills and a crapload of fashion fabric that i've been hanging on to for years.

oh, and this weekend is pretty much lost to clothes-finding, because i'm recovering from an apparent bout of food poisong.

well, gee.

Jun. 28th, 2006 08:37 pm
daniwithtea: (just ducky)
Our real estate agent neglected to tell us that when we bought a house in Pottstown, we should have bought a boat as well.

This morning, every single road out of Pottstown was closed except 422. So, I took 422 for as long as I could stand the traffic, and got off at 29, planning to shoot down through Great Valley into Frazer. No dice - 29 is closed just south of the Redner's in Collegeville. Double back, cut across to 113. Shoot down through Phoenixville to the other end of 29...which is closed. Cut back across Pothouse Road? Nope. Closed. Ookay...23. I can take 23 into Valley Forge and shoot down 202...nope - 23 is closed. Call the office, find out how one of my co-workers got to work - cut back up 113, down the back road he suggested. Total commute? 32 miles over *three hours*. Whee! Two hours later, head to King of Prussia to run a training class, then home (via 422) so that there was a chance in hell of me making my 6:00 appointment with the sleep specialist.

Sit at home and watch the news, read the news, wish we had a boat...because according to the local paper, a boat is the only way we're leaving the city tomorrow. Of course, I have to be back in KoP at 8 for another training class...and I'm the only one who can do it, because the training materials and the tech equipment needed are all in my truck. Call my boss, let him know what's up. He says I can drive to KoP tonight, stay in the hotel, and get reimbursed, or leave at 5 in the morning (!) to beat the 422 traffic and leave around noon.

Since I'm sitting at home watching so you think you can dance crack tv, it's obvious what i chose.

Mer had a similarly crappy commute today, driving 2 hours from Pottstown to Phoenixville. Bleh.

The appointment with the sleep doc was interesting, and I get to go be hooked up to wires in july to find out what's actually wrong. apparently, my symptoms are weird, which makes me a challenge, which the doctor likes.

in happy homeowner news, the basement is very, very wet, and instead of buying the parts to finish mer's new 'puter, we'll be buying a dehumidifer, shelves for the catering stuff, concrete to fill the drain hole that the water is coming out of, and possibly a shop vac. also? i really need a dry day so I can mow the lawn, because the back yard is turning into a jungle, and electrocution via electric weedwhacker and rainwater is not on my list of fun things to do.

but? i had a really good bar of dark chocolate today, we're financially stable enough to buy the stuff we need for the basement, and i have an anacrostic that's calling my name. life is surprisingly good.

Dad update

Jun. 2nd, 2006 08:28 pm
daniwithtea: (joss whedon is my master now)
Dad is doing well. He came through surgery like a trooper, is in a lot of pain and cranky - which is as it should be (the cranky, not the pain.) Last I heard, he was still in some kind of holding tank; apparently there's a room shortage at the hospital.

Today has been otherwise extremely crappy. I fucked up something in AD at work, our basement flooded, the malted milkshake I got at DQ to make me feel better is a substandard cup of malted milk, and the headache I've had all week is back.

But, in better news, I'm home, I'm wearing my "Joss Whedon is my master now" shirt, and we're having bacon cheese fries for dinner.

This weekend...mow the lawns, buy shelves for the basement and move everything out of the wet boxes onto shelves, catch up on sleep, pay bills.
daniwithtea: (truck)
so, the jetta's gone. i am happily the owner of a brand new debt...er, truck. It's a 2006 Chevy Colorado, very base (A/C, but no CD player), manual transmission, silver birch metallic (it looks silver sometimes and, um, birch others). it was, hands down, the most comfortable truck i drove, for both me & mer. we're taking it down the shore this weekend to see mer's folks.

in news that's just as exciting, i managed to finagle myself a 4-day weekend. sweet. tomorrow i catch up on house stuff, saturday and sunday we'll be in jersey, monday will be a me day.

i do have a need to draw on the collective lj brain trust. i'm looking for rainbow *cat* paw prints for my truck. i know they exist. i've seen them. but so far today, i've only been able to find bear paw prints. well, i found cat paw prints, but black, which kind of defeats the purpose. what i'm looking for are little individual paw prints, one in each color. i've seen them on vehicles - they're out there - i just can't find them for sale. anyone have any ideas?

this would be perfect, if the prints were not black.

ETA: i found this place, where i can get 3" decals from the UK for about $6.50 a piece, but i don't want them quite that big. sigh.
daniwithtea: (dance like no one's watching (faith))
here i am, officially at the end of my vacation. i get to start my first day back by driving to philly in rush-hour traffic to do a 60-minute training session. woo.

but -

the house? actually looks kind of like we live here. about 75-80% of the stuff that's going to be unpacked is unpacked. (this excludes books, because the shelves aren't mounted yet.) i've had a happy week as a house-butch, doing things like installing a new kitchen faucet and forgetting a washer, resulting in a very wet head; getting a masonry drill bit stuck in a brick wall; using the weedwhacker on the lawn so thoroughly i was throwing up chunks of dirt; and running out of painter's tape whilst painting the bedroom so we now have light grey walls (overlapping onto the ceiling), dark grey trim (with a white border at the bottom because I painted *before* we ripped up the carpet), and a dark blue accent wall with a green stripe at the top (because the walls in that room were originally green.) On the successes front, I installed a new lock on the front door (although not yet the back), reassembled the cherry pedestal table that had been in storage for two years (which required finding the little tiny wrench required to make the legs stay put), hung our ever-so-spiffy martini grils shower curtain, and visited Lowe's Every. Single. Day. Sometimes three times. Home Depot once or twice too, because it's closer.

Ah, the joys of homeownership.

I did take some time for myself in there, doing lots of anacrostics and some scrapbooking (I should never be allowed in Michael's by myself - I'm way too dangerous), and also watching Xena, which conveniently airs on LOGO every weekday at 11. I had planned to spend Friday getting my craft on and watching my S1 DVDs of Veronica Mars, but I guess I overworked myself on my time off, because I slept in...until 4:30 in the afternoon.

And now, having shaved my legs for the first time since...um...when I went to Florida in January? (It's broomstick season!), I need to slather myself once more with bag balm and pass out. Grumble grumble...have to leave the house by 6:15 am...grumble grumble...

Does it need to be said how NOT ready I am to go back to work?

Oh, and one more thing...I took a bath tonight, without Mer in the room. This may not seem like a great accomplishment, but I have, let's say, a bad history with bathtubs. This was my first bath, without someone in the room, in a little over 2 1/2 years. I like baths (well, I used to.) This makes me very, very happy.
daniwithtea: (quelle night! (holly golightly))
Official countdown: 17 days 'til settlement, 19 days 'til the move
Boxes packed: 55 62
Items acquired since last week's update: a shitload of free boxes from work
Items flung since last week: miscellaneous crap
Checklist items completed since last week: new cable/internet set up, mortgage paperwork complete
Housework done since last week: very little
Packing done since last week: catering stuff, craft/sewing stuff, office books, geek stuff, holiday decorations, some dishes, some other kitchen stuff
To do yet tonight: make dinner, laundry, dishes, more kitchen packing
To do this week: return stemware I never returned last week, move Mer's computer to the small desk, trash the big desk, laundry, dishes, clean bathtub, sweep kitchen/bathroom floors (gee, that looks strangely similar to last week's list, no?), transfer comcast email addys to new account
Packing/flinging work yet to do: remainder of kitchen, tools, pictures/artwork, DVDs, electronics, stuff in the bar, coat closet, reinforce the couch
Still need to buy: washer/dryer, tv stand, chairs

I know we got a lot done this weekend (and the day's not over yet), but I'm feeling extraordinarily overwhelmed. Adding to that is the stress of knowing that we lose next sunday as a packing day (driving up home for easter), plus I need to take a few hours today and finish work that I was not willing to stay late on Friday to finish. Also, my desktop's hard drive started sounding like a lawnmower yesterday....so until i find the time to dig the cylinder of blank cds out of mer's trunk and back up all my freaking data, i'm leaving it shut down. the box i'm currently using was an old one that my boss was getting rid of, and i know there's a duplicate box in the config room at work, so hopefully i can pull the hard drive, take it to work, and ghost it onto the hard drive from that box. that would be the easiest. until then, i'll either hop on mer's box, or use my laptop and my sneaky firefox-on-usb.

le sigh.

in other news, anyone not working during the day on Thursday 4/27 that wants to help me paint and/or rip up carpeting, or on Friday 4/28 that wants to sit with the cat while the movers do their thing? (my mom bailed on me.) all i can offer is your preference of takeout food, your choice of beverage, and the honor of being our first guest/first person I bribed to help with my "honeydo" list.
daniwithtea: (gone plaid!)
Well, the bone scan has shown definitively that there is nothing broken, cracked, or fractured in my hand or wrist. The nurse on the phone told me to continue elevating, wrapping, resting, etc., and if it wasn't better in "a few weeks", to go see an orthopod. But being the stubborn bitch that I am, I asked what would happen if I said "fuck it" and just worked through the pain, using my wrist/hand/thumb as normally as I could manage - would I incur any additional damage? Nope. So once again, I have two hands. I can type, and do all the other things two-handed people can do with ease. Because of where the damage is, I'm still kind of missing out on the opposable thumb action, and twisting my wrist is a no-go (so I still have to start my car with my left hand, which is a killer). But, even though it hurts like a motherfucker, it's usable, which is a Good Thing Indeed.

Tonight's dinner will be my first foray into cooking in over a week (ack!), and I'll be making Mer's birthday dinner. Some nice Delmonico steaks, with some kind of random pan sauce most likely consisting of portobello mushrooms, garlic, shallots, and a bit of beef stock. Oh, and peas on the side, because Mer wanted peas.

Tomorrow we will be getting up early to go house-browsing, and then we have an appointment with a realtor somewhere in the 2:00 hour. As of now, we're looking at the Norristown, Phoenixville, Pottstown areas, where neither of us will have a completely suck-ass commute. I'm hoping that the realtor might be able to shed some light on other areas that are affordable yet not more than a 45 minute commute from my office. I love my job, I really do, but why do I have to work so damn close to the Main Line? If anyone out there in the internets has a suggestion on other areas we might be able to look in, as close to the Malvern/West Chester/Exton area as possible, lemme know. Also, we're waiting for a call back from my little brother, who, as of this week, is a mortgage broker. Then we're meeting Mer's grandparents for cocktails and dinner.

In work news, I'm starting to get clued in little-by-little to what my "expanded" responsibilities are going to be this year. So far, everything seems to be heading in a Project Management direction, which I'm very happy with.

Mer's almost home, so I need to start dinner. For now, I leave you all with THE news story of the year.

daniwithtea: (glasses 2)
Supergalore was absolutely amazing. I spent the majority of the night in "chef space", so I didn't get to see most of the people there, but the energy was incredible and everyone looked hot. Many, many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] bounce_n_jiggle and [livejournal.com profile] nerd_dog for the crash space (they have the most comfortable guest bed in the world, btw) and to the lovely [livejournal.com profile] hhholiday for the coffee and cheesecake on our way out of the city.

Ugh. I need to go pack now. And hem pants. And de-hair my legs. 'Cause, you know, showing off my hairiness at a business function just doesn't seem appropriate somehow, and I would like to swim if I get the chance.

I will be offline until friday night or so. If anything needs my immediate attention, please let [livejournal.com profile] fuzzybutchkins know, and she can get in touch with me.

Have a good week, y'all.
daniwithtea: (broken)
i've been doing PT for a few weeks now, trying to "retrain my muscles into thinking that working is good", or so says my chipper (but nice) therapist. the first week was hell, but it's been better since then, and i'm enjoying the physical activity, plus loving the idea that i might actually be able to open a jar one day without fucking my shoulder up.

on wednesday, my knees had been bothering me all day, and my back was spasming. after an hour of "gentle stretches" at PT, I had trouble driving home and even more trouble getting up the stairs. yesterday both my knees and my back were better, so i made a quick run to get groceries. checking out, i reached into the cart to grab my yogurt - and pulled a muscle in my shoulder that's been sending out sharp pain signals ever since.

i had a moment last night where i stressed about the PT, and what it's doing, and not doing for me; yeah, i know it takes time, yadda yadda, but i'm just so damn tired of hurting myself and not being able to do shit.

then this morning the alarm went off, i got up to reset it for 15 minutes later (7:15), and ended up setting it for 8:00, which i when i needed to be at pt. not because i was tired, but because i just didn't care. i didn't even call to reschedule until almost 11 this morning.

i'm wrestling with myself now. why is it so much easier to see what needs to be done, do it, and recognize the progress in other areas of my life than it is here? i don't just blow off appointments with my psychiatrist, and i never "don't feel like" taking my meds - hell, i positively freak out if i forget to take them. why is it so damn hard to push myself through this?

in other news, i told my boss this morning that i am officially (if only momentarily) out of things to do. i expect a pile of overflow on my desk momentarily.
daniwithtea: (plaid pride)
When I was in school, the day before a break was always reather strange. No one, including the teachers, paid attention, and it seemed the strangeness of the day increased with the length of the vacation it preceeded.

Today my life was like the last day of school before summer break, after you've finished finals.

At work:
I do minor admin work for my boss, and therefore am at the end of a row in an admin cube. across from me are three other admins, C, K, and A. we can get a little crazy. Today was a fine example. One of the managers across from C slammed his office door, which prompted C to say "Slam!" The remaining 3 of us chimed in, a line at a time, with "Doo doo doo - doo doo doo - let the boys be boys!". Other songs at random through the day, sung line by line by each of us and usually ending together, included "Sussudio", the theme from "Greatest American Hero", and "The Pina Colada Song", substituting one of the manager's names for "Pina Colada", because his name rhymes with, well, "Pina Colada". The stranger part about this? All the singing was done full-voice, with all of us at our respective desks.

On line:
Veronica Mars fucks Chicken Boo
Mother Nature is God in drag
The Bible, in Legos
Faeries Aire and Death Waltz (*.pdf file)

My boss isn't expecting me at work on Monday, as I should be up home visiting the forthcoming baby and new parents. And I left work at 5:00. I had PT before work, and I'm not hurting.

What a day.
daniwithtea: (i have nothing in my head)
it's strange how history repeats itself, and at the same time, how time can make all the difference.

three years ago this summer, i was working. a lot. staying late at the office, working nights and weekends at home, tethered to my cell phone 24/7. boo warred with my computer for space on my lap. i was under enormous stress, and exhausted. somewhere in the middle of it all, i was cooking for a while bunch of people. this year, i'm doing exactly the same thing.

there's a lot of differences, though. in 2002, while i may have gotten a vacation (a week at pennsic that i literally slept through, when i wasn't on my cell phone with the office), i didn't have any support. my office was a particular kind of hell where they didn't believe i was doing enough. of course, they were also telling me how to dress more feminine and lose weight, and making homophobic comments. in 2005, i have a super-supportive boss, who'll knock himself over to make sure i'm not doing too much, and apologize a thousand times whenever he thinks i am. he also tells me to go to bed when we're emailing back and forth at midnight. and there are other differences that i'm too tired to type.

the most important difference deserves a mention, though. now, i'm happy. i'm fucking happy. and that makes all the difference in the world.


Jul. 30th, 2005 01:14 am
daniwithtea: (she feels everything)
this week at work we had mandatory harassment awareness training. the presentor had a chart showing all the things covered under our company's harassment policy, and went over all the things once by one. what he left off the chart was sexual orientation, which is covered in the policy. so i raised my hand to ask him why exactly he was skipping that. he pointed to me and said "yes, sir?" it wasn't until he corrected himself and said "yes, ma'am?" that i realized what he said. a strange moment, that was. the harassment training lawyer getting upset because he thought (correctly, in this case) that he spoke the wrong gender. in this situation, it was weird, because it obviously made him uncomfortable. it's amusing to me how the same gender question a few weeks ago at nolose would have been a courtesy rather than a mistake. anyway, he hemmed and hawed about how he "forgot" to add that to his board, and said a little blurb about sexual orientation, yadda yadda yadda. it pissed me off because he had done probably a dozen classes with that board before the one I attended. the other thing that pissed me off was when he made a statement - went on some length, actually - about how there are two genders: "you're either a man, or you're a woman. there's only two." But, having just outed myself to a few dozen co-workers and execs, I didn't have the balls to argue gender theory with a corporate lawyer.

on a slight tangent from that, there is the matter of my forthcoming sister, and her uber-catholic relatives. quick recap: my dad's wife's family has their religion shoved so far up their asses that until a few weeks ago they were refusing to acknowledge their grandchild, because she was conceived out of wedlock. that has changed, and i'm glad for my dad's wife's sake. now maternal grandma-to-be is throwing the baby shower. i got the invitation in the mail, and it was addressed only to me. not wanting to fuck things up between baby-mom and baby-grandma inadvertently, i called my dad and asked if [livejournal.com profile] fuzzybutchkins was invited to the shower or not. he said that yes, she was invited, and that he and baby-mom want us both to be there, but that we are just to be "friends" at the shower. my dad made it very clear that this was not a reflection on what he and his wife think, and i truly believe that. he says they haven't told her parents yet because for the time being, what they don't know won't hurt them. i asked him if he realized that they were going to have to know eventually, and he said yes, but that could wait. in a way, i understand this. i do. i want baby-mom to have a good relationship with her family, because they're important to her. a happy mommy makes for a happy baby, and that baby is my sister, damnit, so she'd better be happy. so when i called baby-grandma to rsvp, i told her that "my dad said i could bring my roommate". i felt like i was back in college. and i need to remember to call my relatives that will be there, so they know that we're just "roommates" that day. but part of me wants to scream, "what the fuck?!" this is my kid sister we're talking about here, and i will never be anyone other than who i am to her. she will never know mer as my rommate. she'll know her as her sister out-law, or whatever better term we come up with by the time the kid has concepts for such things. come the holidays, am i going to have to spend a few uncomfortable hours pretending i'm somebody else? yeah, it'll take a couple years before paige gets the concept. but after a few years of showing up to everything with the same "roommate", i have a sneaking suspicion that her parents might figure it out. and so all my fears about the back-and-forth of what this kid's going to have to listen to growing up have come back to smack me upside the head, just as i'm crashing down off a week lived entirely on adrenaline, long hours, and yoghurt smoothies. fuck.

tomorrow (or, more accurately, today) and Sunday, we're going away to mer's parents' place at the shore, where i can smoke like a chimney, curse like a sailor, lose myself in a book, and be the fat dyke that i am.
daniwithtea: (she feels everything)
What was a short week in theory was a very long one. I worked a lot, too hard, and I lost it on Mer last night. I'm so fucking stressed over so much shit, and I was an ass and let it build up until I was a shaky, bawling mess. I'm better now, I guess, but there's still a part of me that wonders if I'm going to make it through the next few months with my sanity intact. I need to set limits for myself, boundaries in therapy speak, and remember that sometimes I just have to stop. I'm not built to work like a psycho, physically or mentally. I have to take care of myself. And reread this twenty times a day.

I need to remember to calm the fuck down, so this meme hits particularly close to home today. )

For tonight, fuck work. Fuck the NoLose presentation. Fuck the bills. Fuck the housework. Fuck the laundry.
I have ice cream, and two new Neopets Happy Meal toys, and a bunch of things on that list. And, most importantly, a kick-ass, patient girlfriend who sits next to me and listens to me rant and rave, holds me when I cry, and reads me to sleep when it needs doing.


daniwithtea: (Default)

September 2008



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